So in-between work sometime last week, I visited Linda ikeji’s blog and came across this headline👇
I don’t know the authenticity of this news but after I read it through, I saw all reasons to give thanks to the one God who never made me a Saudis. I also praised his Holy name for his wisdom and guidance as I had never for once in my entire life considered migrating to Saudi Arabia. I had never considered it a destination for honeymoon, sugarmoon, milo-moon, milk-moon or any other moon that has to do with myself, my man and his phone b/cos y’all know what? I am an unrepentant badass snoop, and judging from that law, I’d spend all my life in jail with hard labour. hard labour bcoz if you summed up my past life with my present life, it wouldn’t even be equal to 2million not to talk of 47million naira. The only time I saw such huge amounts of money was in a dream I had in the year 2001. So now y’all know where I’m coming from right?
Please, don’t come here to judge me and question my self confidence as a woman or list my insecurities or give me a sermon on the topic, ‘snooping can ruin your relationship’. I mean, why should my relationship get ruined becoz I snooped on my partner or he snooped on me? are we not being oblivious to the fact that my relationship got ruined not bcoz I snooped but bcoz in the process of snooping, I found out my man was the updated version of Cristiano Ronaldo who was solely dribbling 99 girls on whatsapp, 66 women on facebook and scoring free penalty with 45 slay queens on Instagram? if this was the case, then would it be reasonable to blame the failure of my relationship on my snooping or on his cheating ass? Would it be better if I didn’t find out? Would it be better if I had let myself be blinded by the non-existant love of a man whose only ambition on earth is to outdo king Solomon?
Some general overseers in relationship matters would say the reason you are snooping on your partner is bcoz you do not trust them and a relationship without trust is bound to fail but then, how can trust sprout if I can’t invade your privacy and find you blameless? The person you are allowing access to your privacy is not a stranger. That person is not your wicked step-mother, your colleague at work or that mad woman or madman down your street. The person we are talking about here is your partner! Your spouse! You share bed with that person . You go down on that person. You both share problems, ideas, thoughts. You both also share tooth brush, pants, saliva and other things i’m not interested in talking about on here, So what exactly is the big deal in them going through your phone? Ain’t you both suppose to be one? oh, so you can be one in every other thing but when it comes to your phone you want to 2? You want to build a bridge and draw boundaries? really, what type of milk did you drink in your childhood? goat milk?
Okay, before you think I am blabbering, I will go ahead to list all the Pros and cons of snooping that I know of, and you are free to correct me if you think i’m illogical. Now to the Pros;
- Snooping helps you discover some underlying truth about your partner. In cases where his side job is kidnapping but he never told you and then you on his whatsapp one evening, and you come across his chat with a gang member who hit him up like ‘ Evans, now that we have kidnapped Otedola, should our next target be Dangote ? 😱
- It helps you to effortlessly dodge a bullet. In cases where you go through her phone, only to find out she’s an all time bed-hopper who isn’t repenting soon cos she texted one Alhaji Musa to tell him she would come visit him in Abuja during the weekend even though she had lied to you, saying she wanted to go see her sick uncle in the village that weekend. Now you know her true colors. You know you deserve better. You know you’v dodged that bullet and you ain’t gon’ beat yourself up about it cos you know you loved her ceaselessly even though you know her butts are flat as pancakes.
- It helps to build more trust in your relationship. In cases where he is acting suspicious and then you go through his phone but found nothing, other than his chat with his pastor and the main topic of their discussion was you. How much blessings you have been to him and how he couldn’t wait to finally say ‘I do’ to you. After reading that chat, you know your love and trust level for him automatically bottles up from 60litres to 360litres.
- It reduces your chances of contracting STDs. In cases where you go through his phone and realized he had hooked up with prostitute that night before coming home to you. You know you ain’t giving him any doggy that night and In fact, You’r gon’ lock up that v*gin* and will only unlock it after; (1) taking him to the hospital to have a proper test done on his PS and (2) After he must have used algebra and almighty formula to explain why he cheated in the first place.
- Your 7/8/10years relationship abruptly ends. In cases you find out he/she is really cheating and you don’t know the best way to handle it so everything becomes messy and one person is asking for space and then silent treatments for weeks and boom the next time you call him/her, they’re asking ‘who’s this please‘?
- You get hurt. Can’t stop crying for days, weeks, months,years and decades and then your followers on social media starts to unfollow you bcoz they are tired of your daily ‘men are scum’ rants.
- I don’t know. I guess it’s finished. No more cons people! no more cons!
Having said all these, I’d like to give a shout-out to my fellow snoopers. You guys are not alone. I have been with y’all before Jesus turned that water into wine, and maybe, just Maybe before rapture takes place we’d change right? Maybe not! To you dear readers, what is your take on snooping? do you think it’s okay to snoop or get snooped on by your partner? Are you for or against it? Has snooping ever marred your relationship or did it help it grow stronger? Tell us in the comment section! We unapologetic snoopers and non-snoopers want to know! ❤❤