Happy Sunday everyone!. Regardless you went to church or not, everyone deserves a Sunday blessing. I am from an Anglican family but my sister married a Catholic. Since I stay with her, the struggle was choosing between Anglican and Catholic every Sunday. This Sunday I chose to follow her to Catholic Church . One thing I like about the Catholic Church is their brief mass duration. I am not a fan of staying 10hrs in church. I begin to have weird imaginations when I overstay. When I was younger and the service got endless, I start to think of the pot of rice at home and if or not I would use coke, fanta or water to digest it. I would look round to count those who were wearing aba n’anya shoe. People Who had repeated the clothes they wore the previous Sunday. People Who did not give offerings and those whose heads would want to fall from their necks, dozing during serious service.
Today, we got to church by 9:30a.m for the 9-11a.m mass to see that the 7-9a.m mass hadn’t ended. Both inside and outside the church was full. There was no place to sit or take shelter from the sun. We had to stand in the open field. I looked up to heaven and said ‘dear lord if this mass exceeds the next 10mins, I will jejely dust my ass and dismiss with these people that came for the 7-9a.m mass as It wasn’t in my plan to attend 1 and a half mass”. Like I feared, the mass took about 45mins to end. I didn’t care about my Sis. I took my Bible to leave when they dismissed, then this brother dragged me back ‘sister where are you going, didn’t you come for the 9-11a.m mass? Why don’t you allow the holy spirit to use you”?. If not that people were looking at us, I would have swallowed his bald head. I quietly closed my eyes in worship to debunk any speculation of me being an ogbanje (evil spirit) .
This brother bald located me where I sat and sat with me. He asked where I kept my bulletin, I told him that breeze blew it away. He said i shouldn’t lie that the holy spirit was watching us. I told him I didn’t buy b/cos I couldn’t afford it.
”whaaat?? You didn’t get a bulletin? It is Just common 50naira” – he said on loud speaker mode.
People turned to us. They were looking. I heard a thin voice from the back say ‘mummy, see it’s that sister that didn’t want to attend mass. she didn’t also buy church bulletin”.
”God have mercy”. – a thicker voice replied.
My eyes met with a woman who sat by my right and she quizzically rose her brows at me. I knew if she had holy water in her bag, she would have poured it on me.
That was how I became a suspect because of One brother bald that simply couldn’t shut up.
Catholic Churches don’t pray as much as Anglicans do. Their intercessory is mostly done in form of songs. The priest would say something and congregation would chorus words. I didn’t know What they chorused so I didn’t say anything.
The brother bald looked at me. He said it would be better if I stopped thinking about worldly things and concentrate on the holy spirit. ”open your mouth and talk. Your mouth is even big, it will reach heaven fast”. -he said. I hissed, looked at his bald head again and saw the reason for his frustration.
After the priest was done and we sat down. The brother bald started ”why weren’t you saying anything? you didn’t respond to the offertory prayers? Even glory to Jesus, honour to Mary you don’t know. You think life is about having long nose and carrying big handbag. Girls of this generation blah………………. blah…….. Blah.. ”
”I am Anglican”- I yelled in mega phone mode. ”Oh sister, peace be with you. i didn’t know o, why didn’t you tell me since”? – he asked in a rather sweet voice.
Everyone who thought I was an ogbanje started smiling with me. One woman was pointing at me, assuring her 3year old son that I was his wife. A twenty something year old woman like me.
This brother bald became all nice and generous. He gave me his bulletin to glance through as a first timer who probably hasn’t seen a bulletin her entire life.
Him : if you are Anglican, what are you doing in a Catholic Church?
Me: My Sis married a Catholic
Him: (laughs mumuly) that means you will marry a Catholic too
Me: (coughs hackingly)
Him: I didn’t mean to embarrass you earlier on. I was just trying to preach the ways of the holy spirit to you. You should allow the holy spirit to always show you the way.
He said he had never attended an Anglican church in his life. He said I would be the reason he would convert.
Ehn? Will you convert with your bald head? I asked his effigy in my mind.
He asked me where my church was. He asked the colour of my church building. He asked which year my church was found. he asked the name of my vicar. ‘How many times do you people give offering’?
Me: About 10times, are you scared?
Him: scared? The holy spirit will always show me the way.
He asked me for my vicar’s phone number. He asked me for my church p. O box. I replied and he kept jotting them down. After 5minutes of silence, he said ‘and you, what is your number’..
Me: My number?? I am not the Bishop of my church.
Him: don’t you know I need your number if I have to come to your church?. I mean I have not been there before. what if I wander off and get lost.
Me: brother b. how can you get lost? You have forgotten that you shouldn’t do anything by your own power. Please just allow the holy spirit show you the way.
I dusted my backside and left him to the holy spirit.