Am I the only one who hasn’t paid her tithe since the beginning of this year???
I am talking about this now because my guilty conscience has killed me and is about to bury me. Every time I am buying my 1,500 naira human hair or trying to spoil myself silly with 200naira Boli (roasted plantain) and 50 naira groundnut, my subconscious pricks me with “Hmm peace, be buying ekpa but remember you have not paid ya tithe”. When I’m in the toilet trying to poop and the thing doesn’t want to come out and I am trying to tell God to pls forgive me my sins and allow the thing to just come out, my subconscious creeps in with,” peace how will it come out when you will not pay ya tithe”.
Sometime ago, I was on a very long queue under the unrepentant scorching sun. I was determined to withdraw my last 2k. Every other person before me was able to dispense successfully but immediately it got to my turn, no more service! You should have seen how those people were looking at me like an embodiment of bad luck. They started throwing subtle shades. “which Kain bad luck some people carry come this queue this afternoon”, ” all these yellow girls with marmi water spirit ehn”. ” yellow aunty pls shift to one side let us know if the service will return”. I stood apart like an abandoned native fowl trying so hard to stop those tears from falling and as They continued their derogatory remarks about me, my subconscious quietly echoed ” when you will not pay ya tithe nko”.
The guilt is so major, I literally now associate every of my misfortune to the fact that I haven’t given God his own 10% since the month of January until now. Growing up I heard stories of people who always met misfortunes bcos they didn’t pay their tithes.
So now, any small headache I have, I’m like, “why this strange headache? Is it bcos I haven’t paid my tithe?”
When I slide into a cute guy’s dm on IG and he doesn’t want to love me back, I go all “God why me? Is it bcos I haven’t paid my tithe?”
When I walk pass a mechanic workshop and one of the apprentice is doing ssssswwewhhhhh(as if he is calling his fellow snake), and then runs to me to tell me how I look so much like his missing rib, I weep in my soul and ask God why he has refused to intervene in my situation or is it because I haven’t paid my tithe?
How about the day I went on Facebook to see a thousand photos of Regi Regi (my Facebook crush) on bended knee in front of one woman that is not even fine and then captioned it “she said yes”. I almost broke the walls of our house screaming, “Regi Regi has married another woman because I haven’t paid my tithe”.
Any bad thing that happens to me, my mind tells me it’s because I haven’t paid my tithe”.
I am tired!
I am Anglican by birth and used to attend an Anglican Church but since I started staying with my sister who is married to a catholic, I started attending a Catholic Church. Later, my sister’s husband introduced us to this Pentecostal Church which soon turned to our most frequented Church. From time to time we would attend catholic but almost never Anglican. I don’t think i have stepped into an Anglican Church throughout this year. In fact, I don’t think I remember the process of worship there.
My Anglican Church is a church of humble beginning with humble beginners. The building is incomplete with little or no space for the children’s dept. It has no doors or walls around it. only roof. The members may not be exactly poor but none of them drives a Benz, Bentley or any of those cars you see parked in front of churches like house on the rock, synagogue or Christ embassy. It is this kind of church where you don’t need to squeeze & hide your 50naira in your palm before going to put it in the offering bag becos there was no need to. Every other person there was also giving 50 naira offering or 20naira, So you with 50naira should be proud of yourself. Even though I admit I’d never find my Mr right in that church, I accept that the church molded me. Before I started earning my 10k naira stipend, before I started having boobs and ass & Before I even properly learned to pronounce parallelogram, I had been a member of that church and so I always feel indebted.
Our Pentecostal Church is those big man church. If you mistakenly come like 30minutes late, you may not find space to park your car. You have ushers singing & welcoming you from the church gate, and then immediately you enter inside the church auditorium, you will feel the intense AC. Your skin may start to think it is in the U.S and you may need to change your accent accordingly. You cannot! I repeat, you cannot be proud of your 500naira offering becos you see people put bundle of 1000 naira notes into their offering envelops 😳 before dropping it in the offering bag. I’d usually wait until it was prayer time when people were closing their eyes before I skillfully squeeze out my 50naira from my bag to the offering envelop bcos I cannot be put to shame! When it’s time for donations, the least amount a calvarian can donate is 1M! Brothers and sister, who am I? Even though I have a feeling I’d find my Mr right in that church, I don’t pay my tithe there bcos they are rich enough and wouldn’t be needing my 1k tithe.
Our Catholic Church? I don’t even know when they call for tithers. I am there but my mind is always in the puff puff that is sold at the other end of the church. The church is well populated and quiet affluent . They have myriads of cars parked outside during masses & congregations are always using 10 bags of rice, 10 cartons of malt, 10 tubers of yam and 3 tolotolo for thanksgiving. They are rich enough too so I have held back my tithe from them.
I have always maintained that until I find time to go to my Anglican Church( which is quite a distance), I wasn’t giving my tithe to any other church. Reasons are;
- I am Anglican
- They need the money more than the other churches
- My money would be more significant there
I feel like I’d be betraying the entire Anglican communion if I paid my tithe to another church which is the reason I haven’t paid my tithe since January as I haven’t worshipped in my Anglican church. My sister keeps saying it doesn’t matter which church I pay my tithe bcos it’s the same God but then, I am aware that God doesn’t come down from heaven to take this money from the offering bag. He doesn’t send Angel Michael to come and collect the tithe envelops and use it to build more mansions in heaven. I am aware that the tithe money is used by the church for charity or is invested in the church and so, from the aforementioned churches we already know which one deserves my tithe right?
I don’t know if I make sense or not but It’s been confusing deciding where to pay my tithe and if I continue being this selective, I may not pay my tithe till I rapture takes place. So let me ask. does it really matter the church I pay my tithe to? Do I pay to my Anglican, Catholic, Pentecostal Church or should I just keep my money to myself bcos las las I feel the lord understands what I am going through.
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